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What followed was a “first” to remember, as we took our time kissing and exploring each other’s bodies for the first time.While I know I wasn’t the first black woman he ever had sex with, he was the first White American that I had ever let into such an intimate space.I grew up believing a number of stereotypes about non-Black men, especially when it came to sex.If you asked most of my friends, their packages tended to be small unless they were of Latin or Italian descent, but they made up for it in the oral sex arena.
Shocked, he laughed and said, “I totally thought you were Brasilian.” He wouldn’t be the first to make the assumption.
We yearn to embrace our sexual bliss, and yet have allowed what our mothers, grandmothers, aunties, and sister-friends have said about “them” keep us from pursuing something new.
We know how hard it is to fight against the stereotypes of black women as lascivious, innately promiscuous, and even predatory, deviants— and yet we feel more than justified in projecting our own labels on others, unfairly sizing up men and defining their capabilities between the sheets (or lack thereof) based on what so-and-so- said instead of considering the realities of the individual that just might be the guy who can makes your toes curl.” My toes curled, more than once. And even though I doubt me and this kid from Jersey will ever be more than just friends due to our chosen life paths (he’s ready to settle in one place and pursue a serious relationship, I want to keep traveling and find a partner who is willing to go with me), it was still worth giving us the opportunity to share intimacy, a deeper level of connection, and now, a stronger friendship.
We spent the following days hanging out, walking the beach, but still keeping things platonic.
He had met and pursued a local Brasilian girl who was beyond sweet.
Eventually, our vacation ended and he headed to the south of Brasil to start his new job. It had been almost six months since we had first met, and I certainly had changed.