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Previously, I wrote here on research about when you should play "hard to get" in relationships.
That research also found an interesting distinction between behaviors that created "liking" and those that increased "desire" (Dai, Dong, & Jia, 2014).
Chris might be quick to address important needs, while placing secondary wants below other matters.
Chris might also make Pat wait at other times and earn satisfaction in some way that was mutually beneficial.
As we have seen, desiring and liking are two distinct concepts, and can often be at odds.
Building a friendship can sometimes fizzle passion, while sparking desire can sometimes lead to resentment.
Perhaps Chris might even flirt and tease with Pat a bit, putting Pat off for a minute, then offering a surprise.
Over time, Chris would satisfy Pat enough to build a great friendship.
In the second experiment, some participants were denied an reward, while others received it.In other words, being easy, congenial, and friendly made a person more "likeable," but make them likeable.This finding left me wondering whether this distinction between liking/friendship and desiring/attraction could be behind other romantic issues as well.In other words, satisfying your partner's needs or wants increases how much they satisfying a partner's needs may keep them passionately pursuing you and trying to please you, but will eventually lead to dislike, dissatisfaction, and animosity.