Dating again at 40

01-May-2017 02:25

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Jumping back into the dating pool isn’t always easy.

Perhaps it’s been a while since you’ve been on a date, maybe you’ve been hurt in the past or perhaps your prior dating experiences have been disappointing, disconcerting or a bit distressing.

Do you find yourself thinking about him or her more than you’d like to admit?

Do you spend your free time online tracking his or her social presence?

It took: I realized I was the leader of my little family, and I had to take the role as the rock solid one, the go-to person, and the one my little kids could depend on 100% all the time. It gives my life purpose and meaning and joy that I can’t even begin to explain.

So, with all that said, that is the first thing on my list of 4 advantages to starting over at 40.

You do not need to profess your love and ask someone to a romantic dinner. You owe it to yourself to know what you want and require in a relationship, and being aware of these needs will make your dating decisions more informed.

The last thing you need to do is lose your confidence.

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Not only was I going through the pain of a divorce, mourning the failure of my marriage, dealing with my two young kids’ feelings about daddy moving out, and worrying about finances, but now I had to go back out there into the nightmare world of dating?! And the unknown was semi-attractive, in the sense that at least it wasn’t “the known” which was constant fighting, misery, fear, sadness and loneliness.

I had a very nasty divorce, which did not go well for me might write more about that later and I am now beginning my new life. Simply saying, "I had a lot of fun the other night, but I think I'd like to stay friends," should be enough.