Similarly, many of the practices that are generally regarded as "obvious" parts of dating feel like intimidatingly strange concepts to us, such as "flirting" and "bantering," creating an intangible "chemistry," or spacing out how often you call, text, e-mail, and/or suggest hanging out with a dating prospect.For better or worse, there is a music to dating, and while people with AS can understand the verses (and often have a distinctly straightforward way of expressing ourselves that can be refreshing), we struggle with the pitch, rhythm, dynamics, timbre, and texture. There is a great quote by Bertrand Russell that helps illustrate what I mean:"Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives."Thankfully having AS certainly doesn't inhibit one’s ability to desire or enjoy sexual intercourse, but the same cannot be said of cultivating the kinds of connections necessary to escape from the "existential loneliness" described by Russell. Since people communicate through both verbal and nonverbal methods, those of us with AS are frequently at a disadvantage when attempting to socialize in our personal and professional lives.
This isn’t to say that there is no hope if you have AS.
We’re less sure if we’re confronted with things that challenge our notion of self or our own goodness. If a possible answer is going to send you storming out, angry at them for saying whatever comes next, ask someone else. So one good reason to love an aspie is that if they tell you something when you ask them, they mean it.